Currently on Display
The cabinet changes as curious things make their way in from beyond the wall. Some arrive with stories. Others arrive without permission.
ITEM No. 001 — The Unreasonably Important Button
A large red button recovered somewhere near Rivetton. Nobody remembers what it operates. Every robot over the age of forty immediately yells “DON’T TOUCH THAT!” when they see it, which naturally makes everyone under forty want to touch it.
ITEM No. 002 — Mr. Finsworth’s Absolutely Genuine Lake Monster Scale
A shiny green object roughly the size of a dinner plate. Finsworth claims he wrestled the creature for seventeen minutes during a thunderstorm. Dr. Hawthorne examined the “scale” and quietly identified it as the lid from Jillian Dingleberry’s missing pickle crock. Finsworth disputes the findings.
ITEM No. 003 — One Suspicious Chicken Feather
Found outside the Crow Wall offices at 3:14 a.m. No chicken has accepted responsibility.
CURATOR’S NOTE: The chickens have declined further comment.
ITEM No. 004 — Jarli Hootington’s Dead Letter
Addressed simply: TO: THE MONSTER UNDER MY BED — PLEASE TELL HIM I KNOW HE TOOK MY SOCK.
Jarli has been attempting delivery for six months.
ITEM No. 005 — Acornelius Twitch’s Emergency Acorn
Kept in a tiny glass case labeled BREAK ONLY IN CASE OF EXTREME HUNGER. The glass has been replaced eleven times.
ITEM No. 006 — Slinkbottom’s Missing Trousers
There is no item in this display. Only an empty hook and a museum card reading:
STATUS: STILL MISSING.
SLINK: STILL UNCONCERNED.
ITEM No. 007 — The Bolt That Definitely Wasn’t Important
Found on the road outside Rivetton. Three robots examined it and agreed it probably wasn’t important. Then the water tower leaned two inches to the left.
STATUS: POSSIBLY IMPORTANT.
ITEM No. 008 — Percival Foxworthy III’s Emergency Monocle
Percival does not wear a monocle. He nevertheless insists that a gentleman should always have an emergency monocle. Nobody has successfully explained what constitutes a monocle emergency.
ITEM No. 009 — The World’s Smallest Wanted Poster
Measures approximately two inches tall. It depicts a weasel.
CRIME: Being Where He Wasn’t Supposed to Be.
REWARD: One Sandwich.
The sandwich disappeared. The weasel remains at large.
ITEM No. 010 — The Crow Wall Key
A little brass key found in the very back of the cabinet. A faded tag reads “DO NOT LOSE AGAIN.” Scratched into its side are two letters: C.W.
ORIGIN: Unknown.
OPENS: Unknown.
STATUS: Do not misplace.
Look carefully when you visit again. The contents have a habit of changing when nobody is watching.
The Cabinet accepts no responsibility for curiosity resulting from prolonged viewing.
